


An Amazon Walks Into a Bar

by thefutureisequalaf



Category: Red Sonja (Comics), Wonder Woman (Comics)
Genre: Consent, Crossover Pairings, F/F, Fade to Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 09:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefutureisequalaf/pseuds/thefutureisequalaf
Summary: An intoxicated person can't give consent - unless she can magically guarantee the truth, that is.





	An Amazon Walks Into a Bar

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in an afternoon, which is the least time I've ever spent on a finished story. I hope it's not too rough-hewn, either in concept or execution. Supportive feedback is welcome.

“Ale!”

“That’s enough. I'm closing up for the night.”

Sonja slammed her mug on the table. “I said – _*hic*_ – ale, damn your eyes!”

The innkeeper stood his ground. “Leave some for tomorrow’s patrons. I need sleep. I don't much care whether you make it to your room or doze off right here, but there's no more ale for you.”

Sonja waved her mug. “Wine, then.”

“No.”

“Blast you to Hellbog,” Sonja grumbled.

The door opened and a tall traveler entered. In a firm contralto, she asked, “Are you the innkeeper?” The man admitted it. “I’m relieved to find you still up at this hour. If you please, a pitcher of water and a cup of wine.”

“Certainly, ma'am. I can't offer you a room, though. We're full up. For two coppers, you can sleep in the stables.”

Before the traveler could reply, Sonja rasped, “There’s wine for her! I paid you six gold in advance, you scrooge.”

“And you got your money's worth. Go to bed.” Sonja made a noise and put her boots up on the table.

“Is she giving you trouble?” The traveler asked quietly, when the innkeeper brought her drinks.

He grimaced. “She may yet. Fought two boys what wanted to lay her earlier, but that weren’t her fault. Tell ye what, if you see her to her room or the stables, I'll let you sleep out there for free.”

The traveler looked Red Sonja over. “She looks a handful, but I'll try.”

The innkeeper grunted. “Mind that you don't break anything. G'night.”

When her wine was down and the chill of the night shaken off, the traveler drew back her cloak and unclasped its brooch. Sonja noticed. “You puttin' on a show?”

To her surprise, the traveler laughed lightly. “When I put on a show, it's for lovers sober enough to appreciate it.”

“I'm appreciatin' what I'm seein', warrior woman.” For beneath her cloak the traveler wore a deep red breastplate, adorned heavily with gold, and a short skirt of royal blue. Her bare arms and legs were as well-muscled as Sonja's, but cleaner and without scars, and the abdominal details of the breastplate implied that the rest of her was equally strong. At one hip was a sword, at the other a coil of golden cord, and on her back a golden shield. Her rich dark hair framed a face which seemed more amused than anything else.

“That's all you are going to do in your state,” the woman said. “That and go to bed.”

“Don’t you start with that,” Sonja growled.

The woman laughed again. “Are you the one they call Red Sonja?”

“I – _*hic*_ – am, and I'm not going to any bed that don't have you in it.”

“Not even going to ask my name?”

“I'll ask when I'm sober.” Sonja squinted at the tall traveler. “Though I'd think I'd a’ heard a’ a woman like you.”

“I'm…not from around here.” She picked up her cloak. “Come on, let's get you to your room.”

“I mean' what I said.”

The woman put her hands on her hips. “Will you make me drag you like a child, kicking and screaming?”

Sonja held up a palm. “No, no, just stan' like that and let me ‘dmire y‘ arms n' shoulders.”

Sighing, the dark-haired warrior took the golden cord in her hands. Before Sonja knew what was happening, she was lassoed. “Which room is yours?”

“Up the stairs, las' door on the left.”

“Are you going to resist me or will you come quietly?”

“Neither. I don' think I can make i- _*hic*._ ”

“Very well.” The woman threw her cloak over her shoulder, strode to Sonja, and scooped her up effortlessly. She carried the red-haired she-devil to her room like a bride. When Sonja worked one arm loose from the lasso and put it around her shoulders, she thought she saw a smile play across her bearer's lips. Once she'd been deposited in her bed, the woman turned to go.

“I mean’ what I said.”

The traveler turned back and leaned on the door frame, arms folded. “You’re in no shape to proposition anyone. Go to sleep.”

Red Sonja rolled and climbed up on unsteady legs. “Give me that rope.”

“What?”

“I felt what it did t' me. Let me hold it.”

Warily, the woman handed her the end. Sonja grasped it and twisted it around her hand. “I can' talk ‘s well ‘s I'd like, but I can think, and I want you tonight. I know I want you.”

The dark-haired warrior's blue eyes felt like they were staring into Sonja's soul. Finally, she said, “give me your hand.” Sonja held out the hand which held the golden cord. The woman took the cord from her, made a loop, wound it several times around Sonja's wrist, pulled it back through the loop and tied it off. Checking that it was snug, she warned, “This is my assurance that you’re in your right mind. If you take it off, we're done.” Sonja nodded. “Now, do you want me to kiss you, or should we wait until tomorrow?”

“You should kiss me now and again tomorrow,” Red Sonja said. She spun the woman around, shoved the door closed behind them, and pushed her towards the bed. The woman sat and pulled Sonja to straddle her.

“One more thing,” the woman said, while running her hands up Sonja's battle-hardened arms.

“What?” Sonja growled impatiently.

“Call me Diana.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Diana.”

Diana buried her hands in Sonja's fiery mane and pulled her lips down onto her own.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always, always welcome :)


End file.
